good morning y'all...
i cannot believe the sheer amount of time that goes by, and the excuses kick in, and life gets too insane busy to write....and then i do - and then 8 more months go by.....
sigh.
fact is i am never really to busy to write - but rather too busy to sit down and commit. i write all day long in my head...most days its all the time - mid conversation - im composing thoughts to put on a page...and then poof - just like that - they dissipate. sad.
i teach creative writing at the graduate level - and art - yet i rarely take the time to create or write for me....and then i hear those little voices and think....oh yeah...
so here i am.
so so so much is going on...
to start - said woman i spoke of in my last post - that amazing girlfriend....well - she is now my amazing fiance. homegirl whisked me away to my favorite island - spoke to our brady bunch, and my parents, and after getting everyone's blessing - in the 37 degree maine air - got down on a knee, ring and all -like a dream - beside the ocean i love so much - waves kissing the rocks - and asked for me to be her wife...
i said yes. like WAY yes....we sat on the beach for hours...and walked up and down the rocks...and shared news with our nearest and dearest - then walked to the island coffee spot...
and i posted it on social media and shared out the love and we sat together - blown away by the love and support that the universe had sent back our way - it was crazy amazing. and for the first time in like forever...my WHOLE authentic self - the whole damn thing was out there - and exposed - for the whole universe to see. and ya;l
it was like walking on a cotton candy cloud....with rainbows and sunshine lifting us up. and then we came home....
and its really crazy....like you exist in bliss in then BAM....the LIFE board smacks you in the face....hard. like enough to knock the wind out of you...
2 washing machines busted - the bathroom sink exploded -( and soaked through the floor )- the furnace is on the fritz - and your 14 year old son takes a scotch brite scrubbing sponge to the exterior of your car - to "surprise" you.
but see - here's the thing. when you have the right person beside you - none of that matters....at all.
i hit the laundromat....and i liked it...maybe too much...(ps...i dont even want to share this because i want nobody to know it exists so i can always have access to it - but there is a machine that you can do EIGHT LOADS in??? WHATTTTT? like 8 at the same time...in 25 minutes...who knew about this and kept it from me....i WILL hunt you down.)
and the car...well it is what it is...its not ideal...and the silver lining is that he was trying to...help? i WANT to post a pic...but the wow factor will take over and it's not about that...it's ok...like really really ok....
and my FIANCE and i, had a communal dinner with her ex husband and his fiance (and their baby...relax - its not ours...)- and guess what...it was kinda progressively totally cool...
and the less than awesome bills that landed on my doorstep - well they will be handled in due time...
we have begun the process of creating what i guess society calls a "blended family...." which to be honest i don't really understand - as i am SO totally a fan of communal loving and living - and even the kids have opted to not say STEP brothers and sister - just brothers and sister....because like what....? so here we sit...8,10,12,14 and 14....and rocking it....
bedrooms have been moved around and spaces in our home are being repurposed...most days its chaos...but we love every minute - even the kinda messy ones. and there are and will be growing pains...but happiness is all around us...so so so much happiness and bliss...
sending out the lovins to y'all and yours....it feels really good to write...like REALLY way good...
